Friends

The word may bring us several meanings, a famous TV show or a very good restaurant, but what friends are for? And more important whom your real friends are?

I have to be honest, I'm not a very good friend, or at least I'm not the best friend you could ever have!... But I do care a lot about my friends, the ones that touch my heart... (I think every single person touches my heart in some way or another).

Ok, I'm being too modest, I'm a really good friend, I'm reliable, confident (well, sometimes things just slip out off my mouth, 'cause I have big mouth), and mostly I'm caring, I care about people, sometimes, I can place myself in second place, or take less priority about myself.

Is that smart? most likely NOT, but do I care? I think I've been "betrayed" or undestimated too many times, but is always good to have your friends in heart, and in your memory, even if its in the back of your mind.

Piece of heaven.

Little I did know, that I could find a piece of heaven when I wasn't expecting it,
usually it would be inexplicably or hard to explain, but it's really simple,
It's like finding money on the street, you don't see it comming, but it can never be bad, even if it's just a Q1 bill (or one bill of your local currency) it will put a smile on your face.

It's been a long ride in a short time, I mean one year is not so much time,
I'm not so much mature than what I was, I'm not so much fat, but not slimmer than before either, not so much richer (in fact I'm still poor), not much wiser, successful or smarter,
but I'd like to think so, in just a small fraction it will be sufficient for me.

Tears don't come as easily as they did, memories seem to be fading into my trivial and repetitive ways, and they're becoming part of a mural or a mosaic of my life.
I thought i needed to become someone or something else, that i wanted to find "meaning in life", some mystical sign like a burning bush or the image of Christ in a wall, or Don Qixote at least,
but i don't think i need that anymore.

I'm getting older, and somehow i don't worry about that anymore, and now,
I AM older than back then when it was in my mind constantly, that's ironic.
But i was feeling upset about the fact that i was getting colder, tougher, cynic, and that life kind of loose colors for me.

Much has changed for me in the past year, even if in the eyes of the rest of the world, i look exactly the same, I know deep inside of me, I'm not.
Little did i know, that i needed to stop worrying, to stop crying, to stop complaining,
and just to start being me, in a normal and almost happy way.
Ok ok, so it took me a little more than that: It took me three years, some anti depressives, and a lot of time for myself, "my alone time".

And about the piece of heaven, it's more of a piece of clear sky in a rainy day, you really don't know if the sun it's here to stay and warm you up, or if it's going to get cloudy again and it continues raining, but honestly, i liked that warm feeling, and i'll treasure it.