How much longer?

I'm amazed of myself, i'm being completely nice, too nice i'd say, i don't really know if i'm being obliging in deed or wtf, but i'm beginning to wake up, just 'cause i'm with someone, doesn't mean that i have to be something else, i mean i like being nice and all, but i have a fucking limit, i've been extremely good and kind to this person, like i've never been in all my life with anyone and i don't know if he deserves it, i've never been this way, not even with the one i truely loved, actually i was mean to him and i fucked things up, but that's another thing.

I guess i'm afraid of being alone, but what the hell, i can deal with it, i'm way stronger than what i used to be, this doesn't mean that he can take his shit out on me. For his own good, i hope he doesn't wake the beast in me, it has eaten souls before. I've been so nice, how long will i last?

Power .38

The power, the rush, the extention of your arm becoming a lightning, a mortal flash, within seconds a small projectile can shade somebody's life, that is the power we could take,
instead i iluminate the shades of the nigth with an almost blinding ligth and a deafening sound....... after that just silence and darkness again. That´s the power of shooting a .38

No longer my tears.

Finally i don't own my tears anymore, they're somebody else's ,
i've just realized that, and i kind of liked it for a moment,
i felt free, almost... but i'm not ready, not yet, to give them away,

i'd ratter feel rage tears, but i don't.

I wont throw my tears again, i refuse to go into the dark,

i will not walk blinded in a winding way,

not if i can do something about it, i'm a fighter,

it's just that i don't know if i'm strong enough.

I really need you

I urgently need you, i miss you so much, i have to have you right now.

I think of you all the time, i need you in the morning, in the night,

and sometimes i need you in the middle of the day,

my body aches without you, i'll actually go crazy if i can't have you,

i need your sweet flavor in my lips, to smell your essence,

and see your soft forms in the air.

I can't be myself if you're not near, or if i'm not sure that i'll have you in any time soon.

I feel like it's been forever since the last time i had you, and i get restless just to think "when will i have you again?"... I'm doomed i'm addicted to you...

Oh Sweet Lord! I finally got you, my dear cup of coffee, i think i'll have two.

Dreams

We all have hopes and dreams, and we all are planning on making them come true, but, is it good to have too many dreams? Someone told me once that it's not so good to have dreams or have to much expectation from life, 'cause sometimes things don't work out the way you wanted to, and all can fall apart. By the time that person told me that, i couldn't believe it, i thought he was wrong.

But things change, (all the time, and all things do), and now i'm a strong believer that you have to look after yourself and take due measures for things don't fall apart. (or even yourself)

Happiness is the state of being contented with one’s lot. It is hard to define it further than this, since something that makes you happy may not have the same effect on someone else. However, two things are extremely important in leading a full, happy, and worthwhile life: One, you must be true to yourself. You will never find true happiness if you spend your life trying to live up to the expectations of others and ignoring what your own heart is telling you. The second is that you must strive toward making your dreams a reality, though, that's the hard part.

So, like always, i start with a cuestion, and like always, i don't have an answer, but who does? I guess all we have left it's to find out while we go along in life.

"Love" definition

Can anyone define the word LOVE, well not the word but the meaning... it sounds so cheesy, but what is the meaning of love? Is it a song or a place? is it a memorie in the back of your head, is it a feeling that goes deep inside of you?.
Mother Teresa of Calcuta said: " Love, to be true, has to hurt. That is why we must give to each other until it hurts". Don't get me wrong, i'm a big fan of Mother Teresa, she was awesome, but, i think i'd prefer to be selfish that getting hurt again. I'm not going straight to heaven anyway!
I've said before that i'm being cynic, but i got to do what it takes to don't lower my shield, yes, i have many shields, giving the first strike and hurting before i take one, for example.
No, i don't think i'm ready to give it all until it hurts, to really love again, 'cause i did that once, i truely love someone i gave away my love, my soul and everything i've got to give, and it got me nowhere.
Honestly i don't know if i'll ever be ready to love, but for now, i kind of like it like that.